Life

He who seeks trouble
never misses.
(English)

He who smiles in a crisis has found
someone to blame.
(Anon)

Life

He who serves two masters has
to lie to one.
(Portuguese)

He who laughs last hasn’t
got all the facts.
(Anon)

Life

Genius is one percent inspiration,
ninety-nine percent perspiration.
(Thomas Edison)

Good judgment comes from bad
experience, and a lot of that
comes directly from
bad judgment.
(Anon)

Life

Eyes trust themselves but ears
trust others.
(German)

Fortune is blind but not invisible.
(French)

Life

Experience is a comb
nature gives to men
when they are bald.
(Eastern)

Life

Everyone loves justice in the
affairs of others.
(Italian)

Experience is something you get
just after you need it.
(Anon)

Life

Don’t worry; it only seems
perverted the first time.

Ensure your kitchen is kept
clean – eat out

Life

Don’t take life too seriously;
it’s not permanent.

Life

Do not walk behind someone for
they may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of them, for they may not
follow. Do not walk beside them,
either. Just leave them alone.
(Anon)

Life

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
That’s masochistic.
(Anon)

Life

Do not insult the mother
alligator until after you have
crossed the river.
(Haitian)

Life

Do not follow the path;
go where there is no path
and begin the trail . . .
(South Africa)

Life

Discipline is making the choice
between what you want now and
what you want most.
(Anon)

Life

Danger and delight grow on the
same stalk.
(English)

Life

Crap or get off the pot.
(American)

Life

Boredom is the price you pay for
staying out of trouble.
(Anon)

Life

As long as your mistakes are new
ones you can argue that you are
making progress.
(Anon)

Life

Anything worth taking seriously
is worth poking fun at.
(Anon)

Life

An apple a day keeps the doctor
away. Remember that the next
time you can’t get an appointment.
(Anon)

Life

Ambition without knowledge is
like a canoe without a paddle.
(Anon)

Life

A man surrounded by pygmies
will always look big.
(Anon)

Life

A clear conscience is usually the
sign of a bad memory.
(Anon)

Life

A clean house is the sign of a
misspent life.
(Anon)

Life

A day without sunshine is
like . . . night.
(Anon)

Life

An anecdote in time
saves boredom.
(Anon)

Life

Always remember: you’re unique.
Just like everyone else.
(Anon)

Life

All good things come to
whoever gets there first.
(Anon)

Life

Act as if you cannot fail.
(South Africa)

Life

The absent are always wrong.
(English)

Life

42% of all statistics
are made up.
(Anon)

Life

Ability is what you are able to do,
motivation determines what
you do, attitude decides how
well you do it.
(Anon)

Chinese Proverbs

Virginity like bubble:
one prick all gone.

Chinese Proverbs

Passionate kiss like spider’s web:
soon lead to undoing of fly.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who push piano down
mineshaft get A flat miner.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who want pretty
nurse must be patient.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who drop watch in toilet
bound to have crappy time.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who live in glass house need
to change clothes in basement.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who drive like hell
bound to get there.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who walk through airport turnstyle sideways going to Bangkok.

Chinese Proverbs

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who fart in church
sit in own pew.

Chinese Proverbs

Crowded elevator smell
different to midget.

Chinese Proverbs

Baseball wrong:
man with four balls
cannot walk.

School Days Proverbs

None are so blind as . . .
Stevie Wonder.


If at first you don’t succeed . . .
get new batteries.


People in glass
houses shouldn’t . . .
run around naked.


There’s no fool like . . .
Uncle Johnny.

School Days Proverbs

No news is . . .
impossible.


Love all, trust . . .
me.


Don’t put off till tomorrow what . . .
you put on to go to bed.

School Days Proverbs

A penny saved . . .
is not much.


Two’s company, three’s . . .
the musketeers.


Laugh and the world laughs with
you, cry and . . . you must blow
your own nose.

School Days Proverbs

The pen is mightier
than the . . . pigs.


An idle mind is . . .
the best way to relax.


There’s no smoke
without . . . pollution.

Chinese Proverbs

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

School Days Proverbs

Children should be seen
and not . . . smacked or grounded.


When the blind
leadeth the blind . . . best get out of the way.


Never underestimate the
power of . . . termites.

School Days Proverbs

Don’t bite the hand that . . .
looks dirty.


A miss is as good as a . . . mr.


You can’t teach an
old dog . . . maths.

School Days Proverbs

As you make your bed so
shall you . . . mess it up


Better to be safe than . . .
hit a teacher.


You can lead a horse
to water but . . . how?

SCHOOL DAYS

A secondary school teacher made a list of
some well known proverbs and gave the class
the first half of the proverbs, so that they
could complete the sayings. Here’s what they
came up with